I know why the Tony ratings suck

Two reasons: Disney, and the 80's. Well, sort of.

After the fracas over who should and should not be invited to perform at the Tonys, there's been a lot of debate over why nobody tunes into the show anymore. Some say it's because nobody cares about theater anymore. Others say it's because there aren't any stars, like the Oscars or the Grammys. Nobody outside the tristate area has seen most of these shows, or knows who these people are.

Here's my thing. Picture Mr. Average Joe sitting with his family in Idaho, or Delaware, or wherever on June 10th. Joe has no idea who Boyd Gaines or Raul Esparza are. Joe might recognize Frank Langella or Christine Ebersole when they see their faces. It's not that Joe doesn't care about theater, in fact, just the opposite. His daughter is in every school musical, and he enjoyed bringing the family to a Broadway show when they visited New York this past year. But here's the rub, kids - what show did Joe bring the family to? Take a look at the numbers. Odds are pretty good that they saw Beauty and the Beast, The Lion King, or Phantom of the Opera.

These long-running-into-the-ground shows are invariably packed with people from all over the country. Few people from the tristate area is going to see this stuff at this point. The shows stay open solely thanks to the out-of-town audiences. If only these throngs of people were venturing into shows that were newer to Broadway, imagine how different things would be. Word of mouth would spread so much faster about the season's best new shows, and people would return to their home states spreading the word. Instead, we have "Well, three years ago Mrs. VanShnitzel saw Phantom, and she liked it, and said it had a really big chandelier, so let's see that." Why just last week, over eleven THOUSAND people saw Phantom. Think about how many have seen it over the seven hundred years it's been on Broadway. Imagine those numbers dispersed into the various newer, better, more interesting, more fun, exciting shows.

Yes, I know it's nothing more than a pipe dream, but wouldn't it be cool if the rest of America was interested in seeing new shows? While the original cast is still intact, while the star is still in it, while the chorus still gives a crap? If that could happen, there's no doubt that the Tonys would be the television event that they apparently used to be many moons ago. But, aside from restricting the length of a run, the way we restrict a presidential term (not such a terrible idea, actually), how do you get the midwesterner out of Phantom and into, say, Curtains?