SuckWatch: A Tale of Two Cities

Via playbill:

Derek Keeling, a handsome competitor from TV's "Grease: You're the One That I Want," will play French aristocrat Charles Darnay in the Broadway-aimed musical A Tale of Two Cities when it world premieres in Florida this fall.

Key phrases: Competitor from TV, French aristocrat, Broadway-aimed. A nefarious combination.

...the twentysomething actor who was known as "wholesome Danny" in the 2007 reality competition...

Guess "French Aristocrat Danny" was taken.

The serious-minded pop epic in the tradition of Les Misérables was previously announced for an early 2006 commercial launch that never transpired...

Hmm... serious-minded epic in the tradition of Les Miz. Class, what did we learn from The Pirate Queen?

"The musical's sweeping score embodies the emotional pyrotechnics that ceaselessly explode throughout the show's breathtaking two hours. This is an emotionally drenched evening that encompasses unconscionable conspiracies, life-threatening schemes, countless betrayals, secret designs, complete political upheaval, pre-meditated mass murder, mob violence, survival against inhuman odds, unconditional love, unrequited love, indescribable love, heroic courage, breathless bravery and human sacrifice."

And somewhere, a producer just blew their load.

Tale of Two Cities, you're on SuckWatch.