SuckWatch: The Tony Awards

You know what sucks? The fact that Legally Blonde will be performing at the Tonys this Sunday sucks. It sucks that fluffy shows, shows that have been around for years, are getting substantial airtime when THIS YEAR'S nominees for awards like, oh, Best Revival of a Play aren't included in the broadcast at all.

Seriously?!??

Yes, seriously - awards for the design of Lighting, Costumes, and Sets, not to mention Choreography, and Book of a Musical will not be seen on CBS this Sunday. Instead, we'll be watching tired-ass numbers from Jersey Boys, Mamma Mia!, and Legally Fucking Blonde.

It's a disgrace. If it has to be moved to PBS in order to do the thing right, then for god's sake do it already. Don't let Les Moonves determine the proceedings of the biggest night in theater. Until then, Tony Awards, you're on SuckWatch.

Update: Kevin Spacey writes on twitter that "Tony Awards have reconsidered and Best Play Revival will now be on the telecast on CBS." Good.

know what this is?

Why, it's a photo a spying pal just sent me from the Nederlander. Guys & Dolls looks packed, huh? Even those ladies in the foreground look apprehensive, as they whisper "Is Nathan Lane still in this?"

Speaking of Suckwatch, A Tale of Two Cities was nominated for an Outer Critics Circle Award, for Outstanding New Broadway Musical! No wonder those critics are in the outer circle, they'll never get inside at this rate!

SuckWatch: Guys & Dolls - Update

A few weeks ago, I got an invite to Guys & Dolls. Despite my having listed it on Suckwatch, the marketing team wanted to give this little blogger a chance to change her mind, and I thought it was a bold, cool move on their part to reach out after being dissed. So I accepted, and decided to lay off the gloating "I was right" posts (mostly, at least) until after I'd actually seen the show. I tried to attend during the last week of February, but was told that tickets were no longer available for the original dates offered. No problem, I would go during the first week of March - oops, no availability then either. Try again in two weeks, I was told.

Here's where things get a bit funny. Marketing is telling me they have no availability, but my spies at the theater tell me that the mezzanine has been virtually empty every night - so empty, in fact, that "they might as well close it down and only seat the orchestra."

So what's the deal? Is the show simply best viewed from the orchestra, or are the producers of Guys & Dolls trying to discourage further criticism from bloggers by pulling a ticket offer bait and switch?

happy monday

Good afternoon, lads and lasses. Today I'm reporting from midtown, which will be renamed ghosttown in honor of today's blissfully blizzardy quiet.

I'm very excited at Friday's news of a Damn Yankees movie, starring Jake Gyllenhaal (pictured above, you're welcome) and Jim Carrey. Jake Gyllenhall is totes the movie star version of Cheyenne Jackson. Sorry Cheyenne. But who will play Lola? Penelope Cruz is already doing a musical. I'm betting they'll go with Anne Hathaway or Evan Rachel Wood. Oooh I wonder if my ladycrush Eva Green can sing?

A little update on the Suckwatch: Guys & Dolls front: the notices are in, and they're not pretty. In fact, Variety actually says "the production sucks the personality out of an American musical-theater classic." Seeing it on Thursday and will report back... I will admit, even these rancid reviews can't crush my excitement to hear "Fugue for Tinhorns."

SuckWatch: Guys & Dolls

It pains me to do this, but this new Broadway revival of Guys & Dolls looks just dreadful, doesn't it? Craig Bierko, meh. Kate Jennings Grant, double meh. Lauren Graham, really? And I'm sorry, but Oliver Platt is too old and just not funny enough to do justice to Nathan Lane Detroit. There's no way this group can hold a candle to the cast of the last revival. There are a lot of haters out there, but I actually enjoy Guys & Dolls, so I'd love to be proven wrong, but for now, Guys & Dolls, you're on SuckWatch.

My spies are there this weekend, will report back on the suckitude.

(photo above is of Nathan Lane and Faith Prince, ah, the good old days!)

Update: Spies say Guys & Dolls = sucky sleepytime. Too bad! But it's still so early in previews, perhaps there's hope?

Suckwatch: A Tale of Two Cities

I hear that A Tale of Two Cities is every inch the hot mess I predicted! An anonymous industry insider called me during intermission at a recent performance, urging me to "get to the theater right now and see what's left of this mess, because there's no way they could possibly have any more performances after tonight!" From my pal's description, the show sounds like a hodge-podge of the worst moments of Les Mis, The Scarlett Pimpernel, and Jekyll and Hyde. Oh my!

I don't see what could be so terrible about a show that starts it's press releases with these words:

A Tale of Two Cities, a new musical to quicken the hearts of fans of sprawling romantic historical epics — the kind of show where characters in the shadows sing about the light of tomorrow — begins its Broadway life Aug. 19 at the Al Hirschfeld Theatre. (emphasis mine)

I mean, wow.

Suckwatch: A Tale of Two Cities - Follow-up

A Tale of Two Cities had its opening night down in Sarasota last weekend. Thankfully, I wasn't there. But others were! And here's what they thought. They were largely kinder to the show than I expected, but it's not off Suckwatch until I say so. Recognize.

Stage Notes was there, and called it "A Tale Worth Telling". "The work’s not yet done, but this Broadway-bound musical is on the right path, thanks especially to a handful of stirring Jill Santoriello songs, Michael Donald Edward’s brisk staging, Tony Walton’s ingenious scenic design and a strong company led by James Barbour, pouring his soul into a towering performance as Carton."

Local paper The Herald-Tribune said the show, "needs work to make it more dramatically and emotionally compelling, mostly in the first act... There is much to praise about the show, and it certainly will impress Asolo audiences. But it needs more punch before it is ready for Broadway."

Variety was relatively kind to the musical, acknowleging it's many similarities to Les Miserables (including an act one closer titled "Until Tomorrow" - not kidding.) "Santoriello has crafted some pretty melodies and a few comic songs (at least one of them unnecessary) matched with lyrics generally better at revealing character traits than advancing the story. But in both script and direction, the show needs more dramatic tension and greater emotional punch."

Everyone seems in agreement that James Barbour and Natalie Toro are turning in top-notch performances, and that it's a fairly compelling story, if one that we've, uh, seen before. I've definitely witnessed director Michael Edwards making magic out of lacking material before. But can Broadway really stomach another epic drama musical about love and redemption, set against the backdrop of a war in France?

SuckWatch: A Tale of Two Cities

Via playbill:

Derek Keeling, a handsome competitor from TV's "Grease: You're the One That I Want," will play French aristocrat Charles Darnay in the Broadway-aimed musical A Tale of Two Cities when it world premieres in Florida this fall.

Key phrases: Competitor from TV, French aristocrat, Broadway-aimed. A nefarious combination.

...the twentysomething actor who was known as "wholesome Danny" in the 2007 reality competition...

Guess "French Aristocrat Danny" was taken.

The serious-minded pop epic in the tradition of Les Misérables was previously announced for an early 2006 commercial launch that never transpired...

Hmm... serious-minded epic in the tradition of Les Miz. Class, what did we learn from The Pirate Queen?

"The musical's sweeping score embodies the emotional pyrotechnics that ceaselessly explode throughout the show's breathtaking two hours. This is an emotionally drenched evening that encompasses unconscionable conspiracies, life-threatening schemes, countless betrayals, secret designs, complete political upheaval, pre-meditated mass murder, mob violence, survival against inhuman odds, unconditional love, unrequited love, indescribable love, heroic courage, breathless bravery and human sacrifice."

And somewhere, a producer just blew their load.

Tale of Two Cities, you're on SuckWatch.