The Terrifying Tale of the So-Called Female Fiance

From the twitter feed of the one-and-only James Urbaniak, via Parabasis, here is a gay Christian man who is very displeased after his recent firing from the Logan Airport Brookstone. Why was he fired? Well, his female manager kept insisting on discussing her imminent marriage to a woman. Eeew! Peter Vadala simply expressed that "controversial issues" don't belong in the workplace, and that as a gay Christian, he thinks "that's bad stuff". And then he was fired! Poor, poor gay Christian. Americans everywhere are outraged that an innocent man stands "accused of harassment even though lesbian approached him."



What a twat! Yet another awesome religious nut who, as wakingupnow.com correctly contends, "wants one rule for what straights can say about their families, and a different, more restrictive rule for gays. Do you see the irony? He’s complaining about being punished for expressing his beliefs at work, AND he’s saying gays shouldn’t be allowed to talk about their families at work... He’s not asking for freedom of speech. He’s asking for special rights." Oh, and did I mention that this kid writes musicals? Wake up! You are gay!

But it's ok, not all of humanity is lost in a sea of bigoted lunacy. This kid, for example, totally rocks. Watch this, and feel better.

Broadway Backstage

The Wall Street Journal has a little piece on Broadway dressing rooms, since apparently Roundabout is now star-fucking not only their casts, but their star's dressing rooms as well. HGTV had a big designer do Carrie Fisher's dressing room for Wishful Drinking. Well oodleey-ooh. The NY Times also ran an article from a while back on some to-the-nines dressing rooms, but I prefer the simple photo above of Kelli O'Hara in her dressing room for South Pacific, and the below of Sean Penn in an 1983 production of Slab Boys. Both photos reveal the thing I really love about going backstage.

The backstage area of a Broadway house is a funny thing - it's usually strikingly plain, even grungy, but there's this undeniable sense of history pulsing from within the scuffed floors and chipped bulletin boards. You can't help but be struck by the ordinary-ness, the unflattering flourescent lights and normal, tired people just doing their job. The theater's lobby may be gilded and chandeliered, but backstage is shitty. Which is exactly what makes it magical in that quintessential old-New-York way - it's the quiet, persistent knowledge that legends put their feet up here, leaned on that wall, waited there to walk onstage, and so on. Who needs to dress that up?

Patrick Wilson's two Tony Noms didn't mean dick in LA

Patrick Wilson is interviewed in Backstage, and recalls the time that his Broadway chops and two Tony Noms didn't mean dick in LA:

I remember being in L.A. to audition one of my first movie jobs out there. I’d already, I think, been nominated for two Tonys here. So I’d certainly made a little bit of a name for myself. I had a resume. I think I’d been doing it for eight years or something.

And I said [to the casting director], "Hey, nice to meet you," and literally the response I got was, "I thought you were British." And I was like, "Why?"

They said, "Well, I don’t know. I’m sorry, but you're 30 and I’ve never heard of you, and I know you did a lot of theater." (laughs) "So I’m British?"

I'm obviously a bit of a Broadway fanatic, but theater-centric idealists like the chatterati sure do get tiresome. Put that story in your pipe and smoke it, chatterati.

Eat It

Shoot. Only day four of NaBloPoMo and I feel like I've got nothing to say. So instead of the usual ramblings, here is my very own recipe for delicious winter-warming tomato sauce, which I created and enjoyed with some meatballs, cheap wine, and good friends on Sunday. My intent was to replicate the Spicy Hot Tomato Oil that is the hallmark of Syracuse, NY restaurant Pastabilities (pictured below). I'm still working on nailing it, but it's a pretty good imitation, in my humble opinion. The measurements are inexact to say the least, I just kind of wing it.

I haven't blogged too much about it, but cooking is a big part of my life, and a really good way to cheer up any early-onset winter blues. Here are 15 recipes from Apartment Therapy's blog The Kitchn, all designed for autumn evenings. Vegetarians be warned, they're meat-based... and look amazing.

Moxie's Spicy Hot Tomato Sauce

Ingredients:
Crushed tomatoes - 2 cans
6 cloves Garlic
2 cups Olive Oil
A Lot of Crushed Red Pepper
1/2 a chopped onion
A Bay Leaf
Dried Oregano
Cumin
Salt
Sugar
Breadcrumbs
*Sriracha sauce! Spicy!

Mince up some garlic - a lot! Put a ton of olive oil in a big pan, nice and hot, and throw in the garlic and a lot of crushed red pepper. A lot! A whole lot. Cook the garlic w/ the pepper until it's nice and browned, more brown that you normally would for cooking. You want it to be a nice medium brown toasted color. Add a 1/2 onion finely chopped and sautee for a little while.

Throw in 2 big cans of the most authentic-Italian looking crushed tomatoes you can find. Add some dried oregano, and a bay leaf. Add some cumin if you have it. Let it sit and gently simmer for a while.

Add plenty of salt, don't be shy! Also add a good amount sugar - start with two tablespoons and keep adding until the flavor starts out with a bang, before the herb flavors kick in. Add some breadcrumbs to thicken the sauce up a bit if it's too soupy.

Throw in just a little bit of Sriracha! Top it off with some fresh basil when you serve it, and your friends will think you are devastatingly fancy.

isn't it time...

...that you paid a visit to Advanced Style? Nothing perks up a dreary November day like the notion that fabulousness only gets better with age.

The very-fancy Artios Awards are tonight! Playbill has a fancy press release about the awards that recognize the work of casting directors in film, television, and theater. Playbill also features the below photo of theater casting heavyweight (and television personality) Bernie Telsey. Imagining the time that went into styling that hair - it looks like the top of a fancy cake!

Happy NaBloPoMo!

Hey y'all, it's November, and that means it's time for NaBloPoMo, aka National Blog Posting Month! And I've already screwed up, missing a post on yesterday's big kickoff day. But one little slip-up cannot break my spirit!

So in the spirit of the throwing-spaghetti-on-the-wall that is NaBloPoMo, here are a few things that are of interest to me today:

Sad story: Brighton Beach Memoirs officially closed yesterday, and it's counterpart Broadway Bound has been cancelled. Some say a lack of "wow factor" is to blame, which seems pretty apt. As discussed last week, it seems nearly impossible for a play to succeed on Broadway without major major stars or another big splashy selling point to spread the word. If it ain't got Jude Law, it better leave people saying "well that's the best thing I've ever experienced in my life." Kinda tough.

How often do you agree with everything on a 50-item list? One Hundred Things Restaurant Staffers Should Never Do (NY Times)

Jaime at Surplus is also NaBloPoMo'ing, go pay her a visit, she is a delight.

And finally, this is the single best thing I've seen all day:

That's right, it's Cheyenne Jackson on 30 Rock, with waffles! More photos here.

Abigail Breslin and the Celebrity Casting Debacle

The casting of Abigail Breslin as Helen Keller in the upcoming Broadway production of The Miracle Worker has ruffled feathers far beyond the expected anti-celeb theater gossips. An advocacy group called Alliance for Inclusion in the Arts has strongly opposed the casting choice, on the grounds of "human and artistic issues" that trump the economic realities of needing a star to succeed on Broadway. Meanwhile, lead producer David Richenthal says it would be "financially irresponsible to approach a major revival without making a serious effort to get a star." His comment is sadly hard to argue with, with plays like A Steady Rain, Hamlet, Equus, and God of Carnage making major bank while Brighton Beach Memoirs, Oleanna, Superior Donuts and Reasons to be Pretty don't sell. If you take on Broadway without an A-list star, are you embracing economic failure with arms open wide for the sake of artistic integrity? Or, is it a game of risk, and better to just cast a star and hope that their gifts translate to the stage (a la Daniel Radcliffe), with the added insurance that even if they suck, tickets will still sell based on name alone. Then you have productions like the Roundabout's Bye Bye Birdie, with stars who are not starry enough to guarantee sales, who also happen to flatline onstage (to my previously-noted delight). The alternative seems to be hiring theater stalwarts, or just-pretty-famous actors who you know will kick ass (like Laurie Metcalf), and hoping they turn in a performance so staggeringly astonishing that it creates the kind of buzz that makes the out-of-towners actually take note. And August Osage County ain't an easy thing to achieve, folks.

To get back to the point of the "human and artistic issues", it would certainly be exciting to see a young hearing-impaired/visually-impaired actress take on Keller. It would be an incredible challenge, and if they pulled it off, it might actually make me interested in seeing the freakin Miracle Worker. But maybe such a challenge is too risky for Broadway these days.

The casting of A Behanding in Spokane, Martin McDonough's next Broadway venture, seems to be a fun alternative to the usual ickiness of stunt casting. Having read it, I have very little doubt that Chris Rock will be absolutely terrific, and I would watch Sam Rockwell and Zoe Kazan every day if I could. It's a ridiculous, scary and fun play, and absolute vintage McDonough. Get excited.

Miss Saigon: Now a Major Motion Picture?

Just got a great email from an old pal:

I just read about the Miss Saigon movie that is going to be made... everyone on ATC is speculating about who will play the leads. Isn't it obvious, in a post-Glee world, that no one but Matt Morrison will even be considered for Chris?

Matt Morrison is an obvious choice, but what about Hollywood movie star and Broadway's own Patrick Wilson? And may I suggest the two mud wrestle for the role? I also have to admit, if they have to cast a big fancy movie star, I wouldn't mind seeing Zac Efron in the role. Aside from Disney's big ugly HSM machine, the kid's got talent.

Other casting suggestions from the "chatterati" include Johnny Depp, Robert Downey Jr, and Jackie Chan (!), for the Engineer. I have to wonder if the idea of casting an actual Asian actor in the role will be taken seriously. With the recent casting controversy over hearing actors playing deaf roles onstage, it will be interesting to see how the decades-old clash over race and casting in Miss Saigon will play out this time around. Director Lee Daniels put Mariah Carey and Monique in his Oscar-buzzy indie Precious, and knowing Daniels, he's more than clued in to the history here and already has some surprising ideas up his sleeve.

Release is tentatively planned for 2011. Here's a little something to whet your appetite:

Brantley's Birdie Smackdown

The highly-anticipated revival of Bye Bye Birdie opened last night, and call me crazy, but I don't think Ben Brantley liked it very much!

If you get a chance, send a few dozen get-well cards to Henry Miller’s Theater... Flu season has arrived, and an especially mean virus appears to have attacked the cast of the revival of “Bye Bye Birdie,” which opened Thursday night. I don’t think it’s the swine flu that has flattened Robert Longbottom’s production...

The symptoms in this case include tin ear, loss of comic timing, uncontrollable jitters and a prickly disorientation that screams, “Where am I?” and “What am I doing?” Theatergoers may feel an empathetic urge to rush home and bury their heads in their pillows.

Ouch! He goes on with a systematic take-down of the Roundabout's starry revival. The cast is a "painful example of misapplied talent". The director has "lost his sense of direction". The concept evokes "an old Old Navy or Nick at Nite ad" and not in the good way. Oh and John Stamos and Gina Gershon "tend to slide distractingly off key — not violently, but just enough to make you want to hit your ear." It goes on.

Aside from the comic effect of Brantley's purple prose, I have to confess a deep, sick appreciation for the big sloppy failures of star-fucked Broadway shows. When will they learn? These people cannot sing! And are not stageworthy! Do Stamos and Gershon really make such a difference in ticket sales that it's worth having a giant creative failure? I suspect not.

Another Single Ladies video?

I know what you're thinking. "Can yet another Single Ladies video really be worth watching? Can anything Single Ladies-related still make me smile? Even after Glee exploited it within an inch of the song's sassy life? Really? Another Single Ladies Video?"

Yes it is, Yes it can, Yes.

Behold! Beyonce's Single Ladies, covered by Pomplamoose. Excellent band name - pamplemousse means grapefruit in French.



(via Kottke)

Gonna Run This Tour for Heights

This shit is hot. I just love In the Heights, now and forever. Here's my original review.

MilkMilkLemonade

MilkMilkLemonade, recently seen at the theater Under St. Marks, was smart, subversive, and pee-your-pants-laughing hysterical. Playwright Joshua Conkel tells the tale of a gay child who lives with his grandma on a chicken farm, where his only friends are a hen named Linda and a bully from down the road. He dreams of leaving the farm for a glamorous life in MallTown, but finds that the ribbon-twirling dance breaks of his dreams might not be so attainable in real life.

There's an argument to be made that MilkMilkLemonade is a 21st century version of Grimm's fairy tales - the story might be about children, but grisly plot twists and seriously dark subject matter whisper in the ears of grown-ups, "This is for you, so you better listen up and listen good." A roundly superb cast did excellent work under director (and blogger!) Isaac Butler's discerning eye, putting comedy front and center and treating the "issues" at hand with pitch-perfect delicacy. It was a stellar production and a complete delight, and though it has closed, I hope New York has not seen the last of it.

Mad Men, via Sesame Street

"I wish I had said hi... so I figured I would on here."

Sophie Blackall creates beautiful and whimsical posters from the missed connections section on Craigslist. Here are a few, but they are all worth a look. The images seem to lend a surprising, wistful kindness to the nutty dreamers on missed connections. Kind of poetic and charming, no?

Monday, September 14, 2009
Look: historically, I'm not a morning person. And to top it off, I was grimacing
through some lower back pain that flowered over the weekend. So when you noticed me
(white guy, brown hair, blue/white striped shirt, earphones, red book) and I noticed you
(white girl, brown hair, nosering, headphones, blue book) for however brief a moment this morning,
it was bolstering and made me forget the knife in my back.
Haven't noticed you before, but if there's a next time,
maybe I can slap myself out of the morning slumber and say hey.
No promises, though.


Saturday, September 5, 2009
- m4m - 29 (astoria)
we were both swimming around 5-6 in astoria pool.
we ended up walking the same direction in the park for a while but didn't talk.
i wish i had said hi...so i figured i would on here.
worth a shot.