"hey by the way you guys have mandy moore in here?"

For your consideration: Chris Klein, balding, on something, and available for your production of Mamma Mia!

Watch the tape here.

joan!

Spring has sprung, and in honor of her opening at the Carlyle last night, I submit for your enjoyment, Leslie Uggams!

someone please tell me what is going on here

Actress Stacy Haiduk brought a special guest to the Daytime Emmys yesterday. Is it her purse, or her plus one? I can't make heads or tails of it... more photos here.

I'm working on adapting this into a fringe show

SuckWatch: The Tony Awards

You know what sucks? The fact that Legally Blonde will be performing at the Tonys this Sunday sucks. It sucks that fluffy shows, shows that have been around for years, are getting substantial airtime when THIS YEAR'S nominees for awards like, oh, Best Revival of a Play aren't included in the broadcast at all.

Seriously?!??

Yes, seriously - awards for the design of Lighting, Costumes, and Sets, not to mention Choreography, and Book of a Musical will not be seen on CBS this Sunday. Instead, we'll be watching tired-ass numbers from Jersey Boys, Mamma Mia!, and Legally Fucking Blonde.

It's a disgrace. If it has to be moved to PBS in order to do the thing right, then for god's sake do it already. Don't let Les Moonves determine the proceedings of the biggest night in theater. Until then, Tony Awards, you're on SuckWatch.

Update: Kevin Spacey writes on twitter that "Tony Awards have reconsidered and Best Play Revival will now be on the telecast on CBS." Good.

truer words were never spoken

In a post titled "Batman Goes Batshit," Ken Levine drops a truth-bomb on Christian Bale's recent on-set shenanigans:

Soon we’ll see more damage control. He’ll guest on Ellen and bake a pie. He’ll join the Jonas Brothers on stage and sing “What I Go to School For”.

He’ll be charming and witty and self-deprecating. He’ll tell Oprah a heartbreaking story of going to a children’s hospital… or at least knowing someone who did who relayed the story. And all I can say is…

DON’T YOU BELIEVE IT.

When an actor becomes an absolute monster, lashing out (usually at defenseless underlings) that’s because he IS a monster.

William Goldman once wrote that from the minute stars get up in the morning until the minute they go to sleep no one says ‘no’ to them. Imagine living your life like that. Everything you want some toady gets for you. You’re allowed to be a complete flaming asshole. All because Batman sold a lot of tickets.

And for every Christian Bale shit fit that hits the internet, there must be ten other out-of-control actor outbursts that don’t. This is not to say that every star is a nightmare. Some handle their fame with grace and humanity. But there are enough of these childish temper tantrums from spoiled inbred poodles to keep directors and producers and writers and directors of photography popping Lexipro like Pez tablets.

'Nuff said.

You can't write shit like this

Remember this guy, Josef Fritzl? Y'know, he's the Austrian who stands accused of holding his daughter captive for 24 years in a secret dungeon lair, raping her, and fathering her 7 children.

Fittingly enough, his story is being turned into a "satirical opera" in Vienna. According to The Internationalists, "The production is being directed by the well-known Austrian comedian, Hubsi Kramer, who, in the past, attempted to attend Vienna’s Opera Ball dressed as Adolf Hitler. The show is titled Fritzl’s Bed and Breakfast and opens February 23."

I hope they have youtube in Vienna.

For more about Josef Fritzl, a.k.a. the "Dungeon Monster," check out Jezebel's coverage.

GET THEM OUT! I WON'T CONTINUE!!

"Knick knack paddy whack diva on a throne, you just got Patti LuPWNed!"

Hell Hath No Fury, Indeed

If the name Tricia Walsh Smith doesn't ring a bell, you might recall this incident that Page Six wrote about the cancellation of a benefit reading of her play "Addictions" due to a little mishap involving using a liquor company as the major sponsor of a play about substance abuse.

It looks like Smith might be headed back to the gossip pages - she's posted a six-minute youtube diatribe against her philandering husband, entitled "One More Crazy Day in the Life of a Phoenix Rising from the Ashes". Oh, and her husband happens to be Phil Smith, the president of the Schubert Organization. In a cozy kitchen setting, Tricia tells the camera all about the family's legal drama, and the prenuptial agreement that is now allowing her husband to evict her from her New York apartment, "for no reason." If that's not enough, she wants everyone to know about Phil Smith's stash of viagra, porn, and condoms. Eeeeewww.

The video is here, watch it in all it's horrifying glory before they take it down. Fast forward to the end to hear Tricia sing a little "Maybe This Time." I love this woman!

Randy Quaid's High Drama

This is a great read!

All 26 members of the "Lone Star Love" cast brought Randy [Quaid] up on charges with Actors' Equity Association, claiming he physically and verbally abused his fellow performers and that his oddball behavior onstage and off forced the show to close, thus depriving them of their jobs.

On Friday, Equity handed down its decision. According to documents obtained exclusively by The Post, the union has banned Randy for life - life! - and fined him $81,572.

And it gets better and better...

Randy didn't show up for the hearing, which was held in Los Angeles. But his wife did and, according to a report on TMZ last week, berated several Equity staff members, including a 76-year-old receptionist whom she allegedly kicked in the shins, "drawing blood."

Equity reportedly took out a restraining order against her.

Evi, in turn, says staffers broke her finger, and she has requested a restraining order against them.

OH MY GOD! She kicked Equity's receptionist????? This is me right now:

I think this would make a really really good movie, with Randy Quaid playing himself, and crazy wifey played by Janice Dickinson. Read the whole thing if you want to hear about the pinko-commies, nazi plots, gynecological instruments, and other filth.

why is it so upsetting to me?

I have to just come out and talk about this. Did you SEE Katie Holmes on Letterman?!? Her face looks insane, and then there's the way she speaks, which seems like she's gone completely bananas.



The whole thing freaks me out. At moments, she almost looks like Lisa Rinna! Scientologists are crazy!!

Moxie is Speechless.

so..... bad..... no... words......



Defamer has a few words about it.